Of all things that can tell your relationship your friend in the course: "I need some space" that is confusing ?. Your stomach sinks. You suddenly feel ill. A thousand things go through your mind, and none of them are good.
Have I done something wrong? Will he break me?
Did he find someone else?
thoughts like these spinning through my head, faster and swing until everything is out of control. You can not just think in a situation like this. Especially since you do not know exactly what your friend wants, or why he said what he did. to want
your friend space is never a good thing. The brutal truth is that yes, it could to end the relationship, think. He is in a place where he is not 100% satisfied with the way things are now
Now note :. I did not say he was unhappy. My friend could still be happy and ask for space, and this situation can be even more catastrophic. Because if your relationship is going well, and there were no warning signs? There is a good chance that your friend might try the "space", what to use as an excuse to or even day to chase another girl.
The good thing about him Wanting space
okay, so he wants space. It is not all bad news, and here's why:
If your friend wants to end the relationship everything he has to do is break up with you. You'd hear things like "this is not working" or "we are not compatible" or the always awesome "It is not true, it's me". These things are relationship-ending sentences, which means your friend is looking for the end of the conversation to be single.
But her husband said he needed space. Or "room to breathe". Or "time to think". Perhaps he said, "we are too quick in movement". Each and all of these sayings is type code for this:
"" Go away for a while, but please do not go too far ... if I decide I want you again. "
This is a double-edged sword. It's bad because your friend is trying to break to agree to a process to obtain. He wants to see the freedom to play the field and possibly other people but he wants to ensure the safety and comfort that you are still waiting for him.
In other words, he is a selfish ass.
the good news is that your friend you do not want to completely lose. to play by the "space" card, he tries to put you in a holding pattern. he still wants you (though perhaps not immediately) to see. he still wants to talk to you available on , text message or even get along with most of all, your friend wants you in his line of sight, he wants you to be able to see - .. and everything you do - so he can remain confident that you not to go with this trial separation as a vehicle with other guys and possibly at the end to leave him for someone else.
The bad thing Give your friend space [ok
, so that you know that he still has feelings for you. It's good. But there are many bad aspects to agree to give to your friend space, if it so wishes, and you need to understand what these are.
Especially give him space, he has a license as an object to sleep with other people. Even if you got back together after such an event, your friend would always infidelity claim meant nothing because you "together not really were". You know this is wrong, and of course he does. But unfortunately, that is what he will do.
The other thing about the acceptance of his "I need room to breathe" excuse is that the balance of power shifts 100% in his favor. All of a sudden you have no control over anything, because you give him space. He gets in the driver's seat to be, because he decides when (and if) the "I need space 'thing is over.
During this temporary separation, your husband will strictly keep tabs on you. He wants that you could perform a leash. and because he is the one who needs it claims to have space, the worst is your relationship will be one-sided. if he calls you, it will be cool just and communicative. But if you call him? are Suddenly, overwhelming you. It can all seem irritated at you because you can not give him "his place", where you as somehow feel you're the one to blame.
What should I do if friend wants space
okay, the good stuff here is what you do -?. and what you tell him - if your friend pulls the "leave me alone for a while" card on you :.
primarily, you need to remain strong the second worst thing you can do is cry or get upset, and worst what you can do is beg or plead for not to do him this. Breaking down emotionally, you might as well just give him all the control. From there, what happened in your relationship, all his decision not sell.
Second, you can not agree to his conditions. He wants space? Too bad. You do not "do" space. He either you go or he does not - these are his decisions - because the relationship too much respect - and you respect yourself much -., Back to contact and wait for someone who might or not come back
If you say your friend, he wants apart some time to think about things (or, as he phrases it) to tell him this:
"" Yes, sorry, no. I do not do all the "give me space 'thing. If you really feel that way, let's just break. Obviously you have some problems, and I'm not hanging around in limbo while you train them."
This is how to get out of a bad situation, go to a better. Either your ex starts retreat, withdraw the entire idea, or he will call your bluff on the breakup. If it is the latter case, you need to stand firm. You have to go out of the conversation to be able to walk, let him alone, and disconnect for a while. they do not answer your phone, they do not go online e-mail or Facebook to check ... let it sink, that his plan backfired straight. recognize him, that can, if he really wants, with this "I think we still need a break" Nonsense, he is a real opportunity for a good losing.
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